Sep 19, 2014
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Comedy

Haitian V Makes A Doritos Commercial

Words by Jesse Serwer and J-RockaZ

Central Brooklyn, and Flatbush in particular, is probably the only place in the world where at any given moment you can find people from every Caribbean island— Haitians, Jamaicans, Trinidadians, Vincentians, Bajans, and even Puerto Ricans and Dominicans—all standing on the same block at the same time. It’s an environment that breeds funny situations and people, so it was only a matter of time before an enterprising entertainer represented this culture clash comedically. In his “Haitian V” web skits, sometime stand-up comic Vladimir Barthelemow Thelonious Rasputin Slocumb Calixte the 3rd plays a fish-out-of-water, middle-aged Haitian man (Calixte is in his 20s but based Haitian V on his 40-something uncle) attempting various hustles in New York City. While the fedora-capped V clashes with a colorful cast of characters that includes a subway candy hustler, NBA baller Rajon Rondo and an online predator with the screen name “Mr. Boomshackalack,” his most frequent foil is Ignorant Trevor, his Jamaican arch nemesis. Recently, Calixte played a “Haitian V-like character” in this spec Doritos commercial, submitted to “Crash the Superbowl,” a contest offering Super Bowl airtime and a potential million dollar payday to the amateur commercial with the most votes. Watch the video and vote here, and see below for more of Haitian V in action.

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Charge Up: New Skinny Fabulous Video with Machel Montano

Words by Eddie STATS Houghton

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As it was foretold, so it has come to pass. The only thing about this 1000 bpm adrenaline-shot of a video for “Duracell Plus” that does not deliver exactly what was promised by the teaser is this: instead of raving out with a 6-foot tall pink bunny, Skinny Fabulous is kicking that bunny’s ass. Battery included!

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Hotel Microphonia: Irie Life x New Era

Words by Eddie STATS Houghton

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When you were a kid did you ever imagine living in your own dream-hotel? You know kind of like The Shining, except instead of being almost empty (except for weird twins, Scatman Carrothers and elevatorfuls of blood) it would be populated with all your favorite reggae singers, deejays and studio musicians? And maybe 1970s Pam Grier? (Just because). Oh, stop lying. You know you did.

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Bunny Rock: Behind the Scenes of “Duracell Plus” with Skinny Fabulous and Machel Montano

Words by Eddie STATS Houghton

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Major Lazer’s “Pon De Floor” Reinterpreted by Eastland High School

Words by DJ Gravy

OK, if you have a twisted sense of humor like I do, you may agree that this is one of the funniest things you’ve ever seen. Gotta give it up To Diplo, Switch, and of course the “Pon De Floor” music video‘s star, Major Lazer front man Skerrit Bwoy, who turns the volume up to “eleven” at their live performances around the world. This song has really reached… um, somewhere far from its origin, and I don’t think even a great satire could have achieved this deep level of organic irony.

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Toppa Top 10: Spooky Reggae!

Words by Eddie STATS Houghton

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This year Halloween fell on a weekend (sorry, it had to be said) and Subatomic Sound and J. Rockaz have inspired me to compile this top 10 list of spooky reggae jams to drop between “Thriller” and Fela’s “Zombie” at your haunted houseparty. Anything related to duppies, ghosts, vampires, zombies and other undead creatures is fair game and the truly scary thing is how many classic reggae tunes there are that fall into this ghoulish category once you start um, digging. Maybe there are heaps of spooky soca and merengue jams I just don’t know about but it certainly seems like the supernatural is a recurring theme in Kingston, a town that has produced crews called Monster Shack and Scare Dem–not to mention Ghost! Whatever the reason, there are way more than 10 so let’s get started. Grab that flashlight and follow me, kids!

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