Apr 18, 2014
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Comedy

Toppa Top 10: The Best Fake Reggae Songs


Words by Eddie STATS Houghton and Jesse Serwer

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Cross De Stage: Cliff-Twang Live at Reggae Sumfest

Words by Eddie STATS Houghton, via Seen

A few of our colleagues have been posting on the runnings at Reggae Sumfest. Briefly: Future Fambo killed it, Nicki Minaj got fined for using cuss words, Konshens wore a Free Buju tee and Mavado threw his shirt into the crowd, then Vybz Kartel shut the dancehall night down. But the only clip you really need to see is this one, of once and future dancehall king Beenie Man bringing out the dude who may just command the biggest forward in Jamaica right now: Clifton “Cliff-Twang” Brown (and in case you don’t know what everybody’s going crazy about watch here and here.) You will dead up.

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The Punany Monologues Part 4: Natalie Storm Talks Dutty

Words by Natalie Storm

It has been a minute and a half since we posted we published our last outburst from dancehall queen Natalie Storm. And since the monthly Dutty-Fridays format was disrupted anyway, we decided to just go ahead and post Part 4 today. Why you think they call Wednesday “Hump Day,” son???  Here it is in all it’s filthy glory, easily the duttiest Punanilogue (<–these things get shared and tweeted around so much that people have developed their own shorthand for it) yet! Without giving away what it’s about,  we’ve gone ahead and taken the liberty of, um, inserting General Echo’s “Bathroom Sex” and “Back Door Delivery” from Nats’ fellow Badda Badda Gal Timberlee to enhance your listening pleasure. Or displeasure. It’s your preference, really. (And if you’re under 18, you’re going to want to stop reading at the jump).

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Bus Can Dance: BlackGold Crew Demonstrate the “Nobody Canna Cross It”

Words by DJ Gravy, Photo by Georgia Blake

If you go to dancehall parties in New York City, you’ve surely noticed this dance crew called BlackGold. They’re seriously out repping their squad like nobody’s business. The trio consists of Hanna Herbertson, a Swedish choreographer of Korean descent, and Korie Genius and Kendell Hinds (AKA H1st0ry). Always up to di time with their seemingly effortless movements and lighthearted vibe, the crew has sprung into action with a new dance inspired by Jamaica’s first major viral Youtube remix. The “Nobody Canna Cross It” video has become an instant classic in the nine days since it first showed up online, and the dance stands to add to the legend,  thoroughly illustrating concerned resident Clifton Brown’s twang-heavy story about how floods swept away a bridge crossing the Yallahs River in St. Thomas, Jamaica.

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Video: Clifton Brown, “Nobody Canna Cross It (Di Bus Can Swim)”

Words by Matei Korley and Jesse Serwer

Bus Swim

Clifton Brown has the most talked about tune in Jamaica right now but we doubt his name rings too many bells.  You see, Brown isn’t actually an artist but a rural worker tapped by a TV reporter to explain the situation after floods swept away a bridge crossing the Yallahs River in St. Thomas. Brown’s speaky-spokey twang caught the attention of Kevin-Sean Hamilton, A/K/A DJ Powa, a college student who is quickly becoming Jamaica’s answer to the Gregory Brothers, the pranksters behind Antoine Dobson’s “Bed Intruder.” (Watch “Patty Shop,” his “refix” of a recent TV interview with former Vybz Kartel business partner Corey Todd.)

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Burning & Looting: Top 10 Actual Pirates Of The Caribbean

Words by Jason “J-Rockaz” Orford and Eddie STATS Houghton

PiratesFlag

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