Toppa Top 10: Hollywood’s Worst Fake Jamaican Accents

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Words by LargeUp Crew

With the possible exception of awful Irish faux-brogues and phony Brooklyn I-talian talk, what way of speaking has been more consistently mangled by actors in the last 30 years than the Jamaican accent? Even seasoned professionals seem to have the impression that stringing “mon,” “irie” and “bloodclot” into a coherent sentence equates to passable patois. Just watch how much Robin Williams misses the mark in his occasionally on-point accent marathon. With a little help from our friends Ian Swain and Alanna Stuart from Toronto’s Bonjay, we present the most unintentionally—and intentionally—bad Ja-fakin’ accents and worst patois faux-pas.

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  • miggySmalls

    Michael Rose is involved in at least 3 of these

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  • Weezbag

    “Clara’s Heart”, anyone?

  • O—M—–G!
    Unless you’re born into it, patois…nah go wuk fe yuh! Yuh zzz mi? Should be nuff Yardies making corn as dialect coaches in Hollywood!

  • subs

    Paul Mooney as “King Willie” In Predator 2. The worst !

  • Joni

    Taye Diggs in Waiting to Exhale… lol horrible!

  • no, no, no, these are not the worst. have you never watched family guy? they have a character based on miss cleo that not only has the most ridiculously retarded faux-patois — far worse than anything here — but they didn’t even bother getting a woman to play the role!

  • Marked for Death!

  • Channel Tubes

    Eriq La Salle in Johnny Was as the Jamaican drug dealer Julius

  • k.d. isaacs

    #icant with you. LOLOL.

  • Mariala Tocano

    Taye Diggs wasn’t in Waiting to Exhale…you must mean How Stella Got Her Groove Back.